When the American Pediatric Association conducted research with children ages three to eighteen, they found that the top two complaints children have about the significant adults in their lives were these: "not listening" and "yelling."
Which brings up an interesting point: children who have only known this kind of negative attention from adults become addicted to negative behaviors so they can feel a connection.
Another interesting point is that yelling is experienced not only in volume but also as attitudinal energy. You can speak to a child in a quiet voice, but if you are attitudinally condescending or angry, they will hear and feel what you are saying as yelling. After all, you can't have an attitude and keep it a secret!
If you really want to make an immediate difference in a student with behavioral and/or academic challenges, simply be willing to sit with yourself and courageously answer the following three questions:
- What is the truth about how I really feel about this child?
- What can I do attitudinally to make this situation better?
- How do I prefer that my experience with this child be?
When each person on the faculty and staff simply, honestly and courageously answer these 3 questions, then and only then will there be a new model that replaces that which is obsolete. Begin where you are, little by little you will make a difference which will in turn cause an exponential accumulative effect.
- Excerpt from Make A Difference with the Power of Connection, by Mary Robinson Reynolds
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